The Power of Prioritizing Yourself: What It Is and What It Isn’t
In our busy lives, we often find ourselves at the bottom of our priority lists. We focus on work, family, friends, and various obligations, leaving little to no time for ourselves. However, prioritizing yourself is crucial for a balanced and fulfilling life. While we understand that, how much do we do it?
During therapy as well, I have often found clients questioning the act of self-prioritizing, reflecting on why they should change themselves, how being selfish or self-centred could change their lives, and if that’s the change, they don’t want to change. Often, they don’t know where to start, and even with an understanding and awareness of what it means, they struggle to get started.
Understanding what it means to make yourself a priority—and what it doesn’t mean—can help you embrace this vital practice without guilt or hesitation. I write this article with the aim that it’ll help clarify the concept of ‘prioritizing yourself’, dispel common misconceptions, and provide practical steps to help you begin this transformative journey.
What Prioritizing Yourself Is
1. Empowering Your Decisions: Prioritizing yourself means taking control of your life. It’s about making decisions that reflect your values, needs, and desires. When you prioritize yourself, you empower your choices, leading to a more satisfying and authentic life.
2. Setting Boundaries: Making yourself a priority involves setting clear boundaries with others. This helps prevent feelings of being used, foolish, or cheated. Boundaries protect your well-being and ensure that your relationships are respectful and balanced.
3. Balancing Self-Care with Caring for Others: Prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean neglecting others. It means valuing your own needs and ensuring they are met alongside the needs of those you care for. Self-care allows you to recharge and be more present and effective in your relationships.
4. Recognizing and Pursuing Your Desires: It’s essential to acknowledge what you deserve and go after it. Prioritizing yourself means validating your feelings and ambitions, and taking steps to achieve your goals. This self-respect will enhance your overall sense of fulfilment.
5. Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness: Prioritizing yourself means acknowledging that your happiness and peace are in your hands. It’s about understanding that you are not a victim of circumstances but the creator of your own experiences. This shift in perspective empowers you to make positive changes in your life.
6. Embracing Your Worth: Seeing yourself as a person worthy of love, respect, and happiness is central to prioritizing yourself. It’s about recognizing your value and ensuring your actions and decisions reflect that worth.
7. Extending Kindness to Yourself: The kindness and care you show others should also be directed towards yourself. Prioritizing yourself means doing for yourself what you do for others. This balance helps maintain your core values while also nurturing your well-being.
8. Demanding Respect in Relationships: Love yourself enough to set a standard for how others should treat you. When you value yourself highly, others will too. This ensures that your relationships are built on mutual respect and appreciation.
What Prioritizing Yourself Is Not
1. Selfishness: Prioritizing yourself is not about being selfish. It’s about ensuring your needs are met so you can be your best self for others. Self-care and selfishness are not the same; the former is necessary for a healthy life, while the latter disregards the needs of others.
2. Ignoring Others’ Needs: Making yourself a priority doesn’t mean you stop caring for others. It means you don’t neglect your own needs in the process. Balancing self-care with care for others is key to healthy relationships.
3. Changing Who You Are: Prioritizing yourself is not about changing your core identity. It’s about recognizing your worth and ensuring your actions reflect your value. You can still be the caring, loving person you are while also taking care of yourself.
4. Avoiding Responsibility: Taking control of your life and happiness does not mean avoiding responsibility. It’s about understanding that you have the power to influence your circumstances positively. This proactive approach leads to greater fulfilment and peace.
How to Start Prioritizing Yourself
1. Reflect on Your Needs and Desires: Take some time to think about what you need and want in your life. Reflect on your values and what makes you happy. Understanding these elements will help you set priorities that align with your true self.
2. Set Clear Boundaries: Identify areas where you need to set boundaries. Communicate these boundaries clearly and consistently. This will help protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being.
3. Practice Self-Care: Incorporate self-care activities into your daily routine. This could be anything from taking a walk, meditating, reading a book, or spending time on a hobby. Prioritizing self-care is essential for maintaining your overall well-being.
4. Take Responsibility for Your Happiness: Acknowledge that you are in control of your happiness. Take proactive steps to create the life you want. This might involve setting goals, seeking support, or making changes to your current situation.
5. Embrace Your Worth: Remind yourself daily that you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness. Affirmations, journaling, and surrounding yourself with supportive people can help reinforce your sense of self-worth.
Remember, prioritizing yourself is a powerful act of self-love and respect. It’s about recognizing your worth and making choices that reflect your value. By setting boundaries, practising self-care, and taking control of your happiness, you can transform your life without changing who you are at the core.
So go ahead and embrace this practice and experience the profound impact it can have on your overall well-being and relationships.
